When your child dies,
it is not fair.
The hopes and dreams you plotted so carefully
float away.
You feel everything,
well-meaning words are salt in the wound.
You feel like you will never laugh again.
Sometimes, you can't think of happiness without her.
Your raw emotions burn inside
where she once was.
Your heart tugs
where she still is.
You do not want pity.
You do not want to be placated.
You do not want to forget
and you do not want her to be forgotten.
You look at the pictures
and the clothes
and the toys
and the soft blanket you bought when your stomach was still
full of life.
And you cry.
You think with desperation
on the all too brief moments she was in your arms.
The delicate fingers.
The curve of the nose.
If only you could have held her forever,
you would have without question.
If you could give anything and everything to have her again,
you would without hesitation.
You feel as though, someday,
everyone will forget
and you will be
alone in your pain.
But someone somewhere remembers.
Someone somewhere feels the heaviness.
Someone somewhere wipes away a tear
and whispers her name.
And in that moment,
I hope your heart feels it.
I know that somewhere,
she smiles on us all.
Somewhere, she smiles on her mother and father
who anxiously awaited her arrival
and who heaved great sobs in mourning.
Somewhere, she is loving her parents for loving her so deeply.
Someday, there may be another
who snuggles warm where she once did.
And she will smile on them
knowing that they will be loved just as deeply as she.
For now though, there are the memories
and there are the lessons
and there is the realization that
you have loved someone more than you ever knew you could.
Where she is not,
there is love.
Where she is,
there is love.
Rest in peace, sweet Aurora Rose.
You will be in our hearts and minds,
never forgotten,
always adored.
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