2010 Quarter!

As I have stated before, we have a New Years tradition where we place money outside on New Years Eve. We each have our own box full of coins from the year of our birth.

Aurora has her own box, and up until now, I had only been able to find pennies and nickles. Well, I found a quarter!! What a small simple thing that fills my heart with joy. A 2010 quarter for Aurora's box for New Years. All we need is a dime, and it's complete!

Of course getting a dollar coin and a half dollar would be perfect as well, but I will not bank on getting those. The four basic coins are all that we are hoping for.

New Years

I've been meaning to write on here about New Years Eve. I just never got around to it. I feel bad that I haven't done so, and was putting it off. But here it is, only 17 days late.

Last year I wrote about our New Years Eve tradition. Aurora's money box still only contains pennies and nickles. I have yet to find any other coin that has a 2010 date stamped on it! This year I also placed one of the ribbons we wore at her funeral in the box. It was the one my grandmother wore.

We once again placed the money at the columnbarium where Aurora is. Not wanting someone to take it, we dropped it off on our way to Grandma and Poppy's house.. and picked it up on our way home shortly after midnight.


When we are at Aurora's columnbarium, we can see the Security Mutual building. They always have it lit up, and in more than just the green color. On New Years Eve, this is how they had it lit.

I love it when they have it lit like this. For some reason it reminds me of the Aurora Borealis, and reminds me of Aurora. I love it.

I'm liking this new year!

Since the holidays, i've actually been doing really well emotionally. I can't really explain the change, but I can feel it. Don't get me wrong, I still miss Aurora like crazy, and still get sad sometimes.... but i'm different now.

I thought having a blog would help me express myself. However, it's so hard when I don't even know how to describe it to myself.

I kind of knew that I've been feeling better, but never really wanted to admit to it. That was until today, when a co-worker at work told me I looked beautiful. This lady, I like to call her the witch doctor, for various reasons. She speaks with a very heavy spanish accent, and she said I looked extra beautiful today, gestured with her hands around her face and gave me two thumbs up.

I knew exactly what her gestures meant. I looked happier. I looked myself. I didn't look like a woman taken over by grief, by the loss of a daughter. As much as I dont like to think that I looked that way... I did. You could tell by looking at me that I was not in a good place. I could always tell with my eyes.

Today, however, is different. I can't pinpoint exactly when I started to feel better. I can't tell you when the major grief started to go away... but it did. I can feel it, and i'm glad others can see it.

I just hope that this is a sign of better things to come for Jason and I.

I love you my darling Aurora.

New Year's Eve

In my family we always hide money outside on New Year's Eve and retrieve it on New Year's Day. It represents there always being enough money found to live throughout the coming year. Everyone always has their own box of money with coins from their year of their birth.

This year, we made a box for Aurora. I want to place it at the columnbarium tonight and we'll retrieve it tomorrow. So far her box only has nickles and pennies in it. I cannot find any other coin for 2010 yet. I want dollar coins, half dollars, quarters and dimes too. Don't they make new coins every year? I'm very shocked we haven't found these yet.



I'm glad to see 2010 go. Even though it was the year we met our little girl, it's also the year we lost her and also a year of so many other struggles. I really hope that the new year will bring lots of happiness to our family that we have yet to find.

I also hope the new year brings luck and happiness to all of the wonderful women I have gotten to know these past 8 months. For the kind of hell we've been put through, I think we deserve it.