Since Wednesday there have been so many questions that I did not want to answer. So many plans that needed to be made so quickly, but i had no idea how to make them!
We have to pick a time. How can we choose a time of day? NEVER! I never want to do this. I never want to plan a funeral for my little girl. Then there's the question on who can come. Who to "invite"? She was loved by so many people that I don't want to deny anyone the right to say their goodbyes. But i fear the more people there, the worse things will be for Jason and I. So what do we do? What is right for us? I don't even know.
We don't want calling hours. We just want a quick service, a poem and a few scriptures to be read, and then outside with immediate family to the columbarium to say goodbye.
My mother asked about flowers. I didn't even think about flowers!! Should we get flowers for the church? I don't even know. I don't know so many things. It's too hard to think of. It's too hard to even imagine thinking of it. But these are things that need to be thought of. These are things that need to be taken care of. Jason and I need to do it, but we just can't. It's too difficult.
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