Thursday, February 24, 2011

Weight Watchers

Yesterday I decided to start Weight Watchers back up again. It was very difficult for me to go back. I can't really pinpoint the reason why, I think mainly because of the leader. I remember when I told her that I was pregnant, and couldn't come anymore. She was so happy for me.

Then I remember hearing about her reaction when she found out we had lost Aurora. They said she had cried and even asked everyone to give a few thoughts and prayers to me during the meeting. I think seeing her again was hard. She came up to me giving me a huge hug when she saw me.

It's nice to know that I have a lot of support from her. I just wasn't sure if I was ready to head back. But here I am, in full swing.

Monday, February 21, 2011

10 Months

How has it seriously been 10 months since we lost you Aurora?

There's so much I can say about 10 months. My first thought is, *only* 10 months? It feels like we've known you and loved you and missed you forever. It sometimes feels like this pain and this hurt has always been there. So the fact that it's only been here for 10 months is shocking.

10 months is so close to a year. The year mark is slowly creeping up on us, and it's starting to make me very nervous. Daddy and I are already planning your birthday, and what we want our tradition to be. An Aurora cupcake, balloons to heaven and visit to you at the church. The only part daddy and I aren't sure about yet is if we invite anyone or not. Do we invite them? Do we tell them what we are doing and they can show up if they want? Or do we just go and do our own thing?

10 months. I still cannot believe it.

Penny #17

Thank you so much for the penny yesterday when I was in New Jersey. After being lost and on my way to meet a friend for lunch, I stumbled across it in the middle of the road I was crossing. I think it was your way to let me know that lunch was going to go great... which it did.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Money, money, money!

I found another dime yesterday. And I'm still going to go with my original thought, that Aurora wanted to send me 10 pennies but knew that'd be too much.

I also had a dream last night that pennies were everywhere! There were pennies everywhere I looked and I picked them up and lost count after a while.

I really really cherish this little sign of mine. It helps me, and my family. I love it when my nephew comes running up to me showing him a penny he found from heaven. I love it when my parents mention they found some more.

Keep sending those pennies Aurora!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Penny #16

Thank you for the penny today! I saw it as soon as I stepped out of the car. You really seem to know when I need these pennies. I love that, and I love you.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Penny #15

Thank you so much for my penny today. I have to admit, when I went to a few stores after work I was searching for pennies. I really needed one from you today. My eyes scanned the parking lot the whole way into the store. That's when I found a dime. My baby wanted to shower me with pennies but knew that would be too many to send, so she sent me a dime. I loved it. On my way back to the car, trying not to slip on the ice, is when I noticed the penny. Thank you so much love. I really needed it today.

Big Sister

I was debating writing this on here, because there are a lot of family and close friends who read this.

We found out on February 1st that Aurora was going to be a big sister. We had hoped so much that she would be a big sister because we know that she will be the best big sister ever! Jason and I were excited and yet very nervous.

However, after 3 blood draws, we found out on the 8th that her time to be a big sister would not be now. All of the pain after losing Aurora came back and added to it the pain of losing baby Almond only after a week.

I know Aurora is now taking care of her very small, very fragile brother or sister.

We love you Aurora. I know someday you'll make an amazing big sister... I just don't know when that will be.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Signs are everywhere!

Yesterday at Bunko I was feeling quite lucky. I had already gotten the very first bunko, which is a prize at the end of the night. But at the end of the first round, I totalled up my wins, losses and bunkos. This is what came up.

Thank you for that sign last night. I'll gladly take any and every sign from you sweetheart. I love you.