Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Aurora! I cannot believe that another Christmas has gone by without you here with us. I really hope you and GG celebrated in good old fashion up there!

Your tree was placed at the columnbarium about a month ago.

Dad and Nick helped to put the tree up, and we added new solar lights to it! I hope it shined bright for you!

We also added lots of new ornaments this year.

I really hope that you liked them. Each one is very special in their own way, and mean a lot to us.

Merry Christmas. Mommy and Daddy love you so much.

Penny #58, 59 and 60

Thank you so much for the pennies!! I know I didn't get all three of them today, but I'm finally sitting down to post them.

The first two came Thursday. One was right outside our driveway :) I totally wouldn't have seen it if dad didn't try to run me over with the car as a joke. The other one Thursday was right outside a place where I was picking up some stuff for your brother. I never expected one to be there!

And then today, thank you so much for the penny outside of Grandma and Poppys house. On Christmas Eve i've been thinking about you a lot. It would have been a lot of fun watching you open up gifts this year. I love you hun! Merry Christmas.

Candle Lighting

Yesterday was The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting held annually in memory of all precious children who are loved, missed, and remembered.

It's a beautiful event full of wonderful parents who have lost children of all ages. Once again this year, my parents read the Grandparents Credo. And once again, it was very difficult to hear them read it. Sometimes in our grief, we forget about the others who are also grieving. Not only are my parents still grieving Aurora, but they are also struggling watching me grieve. I tend to forget about that part... that is until something like this happens that reminds me.

I held it together for most of the service. Until someone sang this song:


It is such a beautiful song and the words just really hit me.

Merry Christmas my dear Aurora. I know you were there with us yesterday as Grandma, Poppy, Dad and I all lit candles for you.

First Christmas In Heaven

Merry Christmas my dear sweet Aurora. I hope that you are enjoying your first Christmas in heaven. Mommy and Daddy miss you a lot down here and wish you could be here so we can spoil you rotten. You will be on our thoughts all day, much like every day, but even more today. We love you.

Penny #13

Thank you for the penny today honey! I was out doing some last minute shopping with Grandma and Poppy, when we stopped at Wegmans. It was there as soon as we got out of the car. I had to say to grandma, "excuse me, there's something i'd like to pick up." Because she didn't see it yet.

I was thinking about you a lot today too. Thinking about all of the stuff we would have bought you. I'm sending you lots of hugs and kisses for your first Christmas in heaven.

Candlelight Ceremony

Tonight, my support group had a candlelight ceremony to honor all of our children. It was both beautiful, and very hard to sit through.

My parents, were chosen to read the Grandparents credo. Watching the both of them stand up in front of everyone and stating how their "grief is two-fold and at time we feel powerless to help." hit me so hard. The biggest line that hit me in the credo was "We allow traditions to change." Because that is exactly what they did for me this Thanksgiving. My parents have been our rock through all of this, completely understanding of everything that Jason and I are going through. I honestly do not know what I would have done with out them.

A candle to burn with a glowing flame
To symbolize your face and name
A holiday season, an annual strain
We try to be joyful and play the game

So we'll rekindle our flame of love
For you, on this special nice.
We love you, child, and the special
Lit candle, that now burns bright.

A Special Tradition from Great Grandma

Every year, since the year I was born, my grandmother has been buying me a collectors piece from Reed & Barton. I get the Noel Bell. And this year I will be getting my 30th bell from her.

This is not only a tradition she does with myself. She gets a total of 14 yearly items for everyone. When Nick and Jason joined our family, they started getting one too.

This year I took my grandmother to the jewerly store to pick up all of the items. I sat with her as each one was shown to her and as she named off who they were all for. Then out one came, a new order, and she couldn't remember why she ordered it. They can't remember if she ordered it, or if the people at the store ordered it thinking she might be interested in it.... since she does have the biggest order every year of these yearly items. They sat there wondering. It was a new item, a 1st edition, and I think it was for Aurora. She places her order for the next year when she picks up the items for the current year. I think she placed an order for Auroras.

A few days later my grandmother called me asking me to take her back to the jewerly store. When we sat down the lady brought out two items and wanted me to choose. Grandma looked at me and said she wanted to get a special ornament for our tree for Aurora. There was a beautiful crystal angel and a silver butterfly to choose from.

It just so happened that the silver butterfly was a Reed & Barton, from the same company who makes my bell. It was perfect.

So when we went out to get our tree today. Her ornament was the first one I placed on it.



It is a beautiful butterfly. It is beatiful like Aurora, and will always be treasured.

Thank you (Great) Grandma.

Oh Christmas Tree

Jason and I decided to get a Christmas tree for Aurora and everyone at her columbarium. We set up the special tree tonight.



We put some dragonfly ornaments on her tree, and also have some silver balls that we are write all of the names of the people in the columbarium on. The two special ones are going to Aurora and my Poppy.

Merry Christmas

I wasn't quite sure how to word our Christmas cards this year. I didn't really want to put "The Blaisures" because it seems so informal. We couldn't just put from Stephanie and Jason, because we had Nick there too.... but if I added Nick, it felt weird. Part of me wanted to include Aurora too.

So since we couldn't make up our minds, we went with the plain "The Blaisures".



We did include Aurora in our family photo. Every year we always get a family photo done, and from now on we will always include the rose in our pictures. Aurora will always be with us and be included when we do family things.

I just wish our family photo would have been different.