Monday, April 26, 2010

Another Difficult Day

Saturday was a very controlled day. Yesterday wasn't as controlled as the day before, especially when we told Nick about his half sister. I can't tell if he really understands or not. It's difficult since he never really saw her, he just kind of knew of her.

The first thing Nick did when he saw me, was hand me a package of fruit snacks and said that it was for me and Aurora. He always does wonderful things like that. And that is when I broke down. "We have something to tell you about Aurora". Nick came clean with something that I already knew, that he never really felt her kick. Neither did my parents. Only Jason and I felt her.

Yesterday morning wasn't as controlled either. I didn't really want to leave the house. We had to get good clothes for Nick to wear since everything of his was too small. We wanted to find him a pink shirt and tie, but didn't know where we would find one his size. I felt guilty walking around the mall. Shopping doesn't seem like something we should have been doing. The mall was difficult though, all of the babies in their strollers and Nicks clothing section was always right next to the baby clothes section. I wanted to stop and browse. I wanted to buy her more clothes.

I went back to the doctor today to check my blood pressure since it was so high on Wednesday. Everything was fine and I can stop taking the medicine. It was difficult going back into that office. Luckily they took me right into a room to wait. My doctor, was once again wonderful. There are no words that can really express how wonderful she has been.

The rest of the day will be difficult. The fact that it's raining seems very symbolic. If you are reading this today, please think of us at 2pm. I know that we are going to need all of the strength possible today.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I will keep a candle burning for your beautiful girl.