Thursday, April 21, 2011
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
Aurora sweetheart, Happy Birthday.
I broke down today, only once. I couldn't keep it inside me any longer. The way we celebrated your birthday today should NOT have been the way to celebrate it. We should have not had to visit you at the church. We should not have had to send letters to you to heaven. We should have all been together, laughing, cooing, and watching you smash your cake all over your face.
I was talking with another baby loss momma, who recently went through a 1st birthday as well. It's so hard to feel like anything your doing is the correct thing to do to celebrate your birthday. Nothing felt right, because this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. This isn't what I had dreamed about for you.
I hope you know how many people love you. I think your balloons should prove that.
So many, with wonderful notes just for you!
I do hope that you enjoyed your cupcake! This is always the kind of cake I had in mind for you.
Your father and I are not happy with the little mischievous act you pulled on us today. Your daddy and I both had letters for you... and we also had a card. How come everyone elses letters made it, while ours got stuck?
Daddy and I are going to send more letters up tomorrow. I hope those make it to you safely.
I love you my sweet Aurora.
And as the evening ticks on. It's almost 11:59pm... the exact moment you were born one year ago. So close to midnight and a brand new day. So close, to be exact... the clock changed no more than 5 seconds after you were born.
Until we meet again in heaven. I'm glad to know you're there watching over me. I love you so very much my sweet darling. I'm sending you all of my love, today and always.