How can we be festive at the festival?

It's French Festival weekend at the river. This is something I have come to every summer that I've been alive. I'm pretty sure I've never missed a year. It's nothing big, but its a tradition in our family.

This weekend was supposed to be your first weekend at the river. Your first time camping. I already had everything planned out for this trip. You would have loved it Aurora.

I've been doing very good lately. Smiling when I think about you. Smiling when I talk about you. We've been doing good. I knew this weekend was going to be hard, but since I've been doing well I thought it would atleast be bearable. Well. Once again, I was wrong.
We are not even there yet! Currently in the car as I'm typing this... and I can't seem to stop crying. This may be our 3rd time to the river since losing you, but you weren't supposed to be with us on those trips. The trip today. This is the one you were supposed to be going on.

I was looking forward to introducing you to everyone up there. I wanted to push you around the festival, buying new additions to our families wooden plaque. I wanted to take you out on the boat. All the photographs I wanted to take. And now.. Its raining like crazy and I'm missing you like crazy.

Milestones, triggers, all of the above. They suck. This sucks.

You are here in all of our hearts. I just wish you were here in person. I love you.