Penny #76

Thank you so much for the penny tonight at our friends house! We were standing in his garage checking out daddy's bike... when in a crack I saw something. Upon closer inspection, it was a penny :) :) Thank you so much babe!

Aurora at Bunko!

This is only the second time that this has happened in my bunko career since Aurora passed. I wrote about it when it happened the first time here.

Last night, at my monthly bunko party, I was having a particulalry difficult night... mostly because of my post below. And the very first game we played, I ended up getting 4 wins, 2 losses and 1 bunko!! For a total of 4-2-1!

I'm taking it as a sign that Aurora was with me last night, helping me through a difficult night, helping me stay strong! Thank you for that honey. I am loving all of my signs.

I am loving all of my penny dreams. I dreamed of pennies again last night. I know they're your way of coming through to me in my dreams.

Somebody needs to have a girl!

I've been debating writing this. Only because I know some family members read this still. But, It's something I just need to get off my chest to make myself feel better. And also so I don't blow up in their face the next time I hear it. 


I really, really hate when family members talk about other people's pregnancies and say "Well, I hope it's a girl, because somebody needs to have a girl around here!" It's like a stab in the heart. Somebody did have a girl around here!!! I think what you really want to say is "Somebody needs to have an alive girl around here." I understand that on my mothers side of the family, all of my mothers alive grandchildren are boys, all of my aunts grandchildren are boys, all of my uncles grandchildren are boys, all of the close friends grandchildren are boys, all of my 2nd cousins grandchildren are boys... I get it. We have a lot of boys. 


But to say "somebody needs to have a girl around here" is so hurtful. I know that they do not mean it that way, but I always smile my fake smile and then cry about it later. 


It also makes me feel like a failure. Everyone wants a girl so badly, I had a girl, but I just couldn't keep her alive. It wasn't good enough to satisfy their needs of a little girl. I failed them. 


Who knew such a simple saying could affect me so, especially almost 2 years later!

Penny#75

Thank you so much for the penny today! I honestly was not expecting a penny, but it really made my day. Thanks sweetie!

Penny #74

Thank you so much for the penny yesterday!!! I found it in the parking lot at the resturant where myself and a bunch of my new friends had lunch. These ladies are a part of an online community, a support group for our losses. The majority of them have their rainbow babies, and a couple were pregnant with theirs! It was so nice to know that you were there with us. I love you sweetheart!

Penny #73

I forgot to write about the penny I found yesterday. It was sitting on a counter at work, and I noticed it when I was leaving the office, getting ready to go home. I did a double take, and stood there talking with a colleague of mine just staring at the penny as she was talking to me. As soon as she wasn't looking, I grabbed it. I don't know why I felt so weird with it there.

Thank you so much for the penny yesterday hun!

Is this her way of coming through?

About a month ago, I went to see a psychic medium. I love psychics, but this was my first time with a medium.

It was a house party, and the first person she read was my aunt. My grandmother {GG}, came through first thing. And one of the first things my grandmother came through with, is that she had a little one with her, Aurora.

When it came time to read me, I asked about Aurora. One of the first things the medium asked me is if I had any dreams about Aurora. In which I told her I had only had one that I remembered. However, this got me thinking. Did she mention this thinking I had dreams of Aurora all of the time?

I do dream about something a lot, multiple times a week. I dream about pennies. Last night I dreamed that I was picking up penny after penny after penny. Usually in my dreams it's not just one penny, it's 10+ pennies all at a time. Could my dreaming of pennies be Aurora's way of dreaming about her? Even if it isn't, I love to dream about pennies because it makes me think of Aurora. It makes me feel how much love she is sending for me.

Penny #71&72

Thank you so much for both pennies today! Both were found while I was on a fieldtrip with a class. One inside the church where the kids were pinching pirohi. It was just sitting there on a table. The other one was on out walk on the way back to the school. Much like the one I found the other day, in the street blending right in with the. Street debris. I was so shocked I had found it at all. Love you hun!

Penny #70

Thank you for the penny today! I was out walking Bianca and it was right on the corner of the street! I really had to look hard at it, because it was so worn that it blended in with the street debris. Thank you hun. Love you always.

2010 Quarter!

As I have stated before, we have a New Years tradition where we place money outside on New Years Eve. We each have our own box full of coins from the year of our birth.

Aurora has her own box, and up until now, I had only been able to find pennies and nickles. Well, I found a quarter!! What a small simple thing that fills my heart with joy. A 2010 quarter for Aurora's box for New Years. All we need is a dime, and it's complete!

Of course getting a dollar coin and a half dollar would be perfect as well, but I will not bank on getting those. The four basic coins are all that we are hoping for.