Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Aurora! I cannot believe that another Christmas has gone by without you here with us. I really hope you and GG celebrated in good old fashion up there!

Your tree was placed at the columnbarium about a month ago.

Dad and Nick helped to put the tree up, and we added new solar lights to it! I hope it shined bright for you!

We also added lots of new ornaments this year.

I really hope that you liked them. Each one is very special in their own way, and mean a lot to us.

Merry Christmas. Mommy and Daddy love you so much.

Penny #61

Thank you so much for the penny today while we were out shopping! We were looking for the Christmas themed towels that GG always made every year, and the store I thought would have them... didn't. :(

Dad found a penny today as well! You have been quite busy, haven't you?

I have also been finding a lot of soda tabs, they still make me smile.

Penny #58, 59 and 60

Thank you so much for the pennies!! I know I didn't get all three of them today, but I'm finally sitting down to post them.

The first two came Thursday. One was right outside our driveway :) I totally wouldn't have seen it if dad didn't try to run me over with the car as a joke. The other one Thursday was right outside a place where I was picking up some stuff for your brother. I never expected one to be there!

And then today, thank you so much for the penny outside of Grandma and Poppys house. On Christmas Eve i've been thinking about you a lot. It would have been a lot of fun watching you open up gifts this year. I love you hun! Merry Christmas.

Candle Lighting

Yesterday was The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting held annually in memory of all precious children who are loved, missed, and remembered.

It's a beautiful event full of wonderful parents who have lost children of all ages. Once again this year, my parents read the Grandparents Credo. And once again, it was very difficult to hear them read it. Sometimes in our grief, we forget about the others who are also grieving. Not only are my parents still grieving Aurora, but they are also struggling watching me grieve. I tend to forget about that part... that is until something like this happens that reminds me.

I held it together for most of the service. Until someone sang this song:


It is such a beautiful song and the words just really hit me.

Merry Christmas my dear Aurora. I know you were there with us yesterday as Grandma, Poppy, Dad and I all lit candles for you.

Penny #57

Thank you so much for the penny today at the grocery store! Dad walked right over it too, he was bummed. Love you hun!

Penny #56

I guess I should have waited before writing that last post... because I found another penny in the same classroom!! Thank you so much hun! I love them both!

Penny #55

Thank you so much for the penny today! I am working in a classroom, and as I was getting ready for a new class to come in, I noticed it on the floor by the teachers desk. I even said out loud "Is that a penny?" How awesome that it was! Thank you hun! Love you!

Penny #54

I feel so lucky!! I found another penny today!

We went on a little road trip with Grandma and Poppy today. On our way home, we made a special stop at a Tim Hortons because I was craving a maple dipped donut. I was so shocked to see that penny as I was walking out the door. It was out of my way, but I walked right over and picked it right up!

Thank you so much for all of these pennies hun! I love them! I love you!

Thanksgiving

I just read my entry that I wrote last Thanksgiving. I cannot believe where I have come in a year in my grief. I have come a long way in my grief. Some days it still doesn't feel like I have, but looking back to how heartbroken I was, it really proves just how far I have come.

While Thanksgiving did suck without my dear Aurora, or without a little brother or sister, and without my grandmother.... it did not hurt as badly as it did last year. I wasn't in that dark place that haunted me last year. I was very negative, and bitter. I had a hard time accepting what had happened to us, and why all of these other people had all this joy while all we had was sorrow.

I'm glad that I have healed in this past year. I did not like that dark place I was in, and I know others didn't like it either. Lets hope that I continue to heal while continuing to honor and love my dear Aurora.

Penny #53

Thank you so much for the Thanksgiving penny yesterday! I wasn't even going to go out shopping, but I did, and that's when I saw that lovely penny by the door. I was putting the cart away and told grandma that she needed to pick it up! But since I saw it first, she gave it to me. :)

Thank you so much hun! I am so thankful to get those special pennies on these special days!